Adopt or die?!?

FfNJGTFO · #1 01-14-2019, 04:02 PM

No, the title is not a typo! It's something I've been thinking about for some time, especially in re: a Pro-2A context. Bear with me here, and I'll explain.

It seems to me that we pro-2A folks are (and have been) in a population "numbers battle" with the antis and progressives. And, right now, it appears we aren't doing all that well. It looks like there are a lot more of them than there are of us... at least on the surface. The antis/progressives just keep on "procreating" and "procreating" and leaving us in the dust. Populations are moving into *our* states and turning them purple, and then eventually blue. And by having control of both the education system and the MSM, the numbers of antis/progressives just keep multiplying. But I'm also wondering if we can't fight fire with a little fire of our own, here. Can we not increase our own numbers the same way the anti's are, and teach our kids to think for themselves while, at the same time, instilling our values of freedom and liberty (the very values on which this country was founded)? And, of course, a good healthy like and respect for 2A! But how to increase our numbers so quickly?

In my recent YouTube travels, I had stumbled upon some videos (suggested by YouTube... why I don't know...) depicting both the struggles but, more so, the triumphs of couples adopting young children (mostly females) from (mostly) China. This, I guess, to ease the overpopulation in China (which led to things like the "one child" policy). Apparently, these parents are so proud of the efforts they made to adopt a child from China that they documented the whole process and posted it on YouTube. Some even post update videos of the kid at as late as 9-10 years of age. Don't know if I'd ever do that (the YouTube part, that is)... I'm much more of a "privacy" freak, I guess.

I might film it, but I'd never post it. Still, it was interesting to see a couple of trends from the videos I watched. Many of them had a religious undertone, implying that the family's decision to adopt was a "divine" one... one inspired by God. You can see evidence of that not only in their choices of background music or the narrative captions in the videos (many being bible verses), but even in how they interact with the kids (i.e. singing religious songs to them and teaching them to sing them in return). And, although most of this activity seemed of the Christian persuasion, I don't doubt there are other equivalent efforts in other faiths. But I digress, here.

Point being, could this (adoption) be a way for us pro-2A folks to increase our numbers a bit more, and help us even the numbers out, if not increase them? Would you be willing to adopt a child or two to help make our numbers larger? Sadly, I don't think I'd be able to as I doubt I'd qualify as an adoptive parent by China standards (I'm an older single male.... I understand that China changed their policy and no longer allow single parent adoptions).

I also understand that they've relaxed the one child policy as well, so the international adoption process is more competitive. I know it's a bit of a hassle, but it seemed to bring those parents who stuck it out and were successful so much joy. And we'd have more new folks on *our* side...

Thus, if not an international adoption, perhaps a domestic one?

Thoughts?

sdmc530 · #2 01-14-2019, 04:59 PM

I will comment on the adoption process. We actually went through the process about two years ago or so. We went through LSS. We got as far as we could then the money became an issue. They were very pleasant to deal with but when we didn't agree to their terms on financial it became very clear they use this is a way to make lots of money off people who want children. When the process was churning along I started asking questions about total cost, they would never give me a total value, they just said 20K minimum and up to 30K depending on the mother. Now the 20K is a bunch but we were prepared make that commitment. Problem was they wanted the money, that was not returnable with no guarantees that you would ever get a child to adopt. I said why would we give up a large some unless there was some reassurance we would not be out the funds. they basically said this is how it is. I questioned this practice and they said one you pay and are in the system you qualify to be picked for adoption, but if you don't pay you can't be a candidate. they said we don't want you to feel like your paying for a child and paying for the process. Make no mistake about it your paying for a child. We went through this for a while. One parent we talked to who did end up adopting said they were chosen but the mother of the child wanted cash for her troubles. didn't bother me but she wanted money but 50K....I thought to myself WTF??? this particular person paid it because they wanted a child so badly and had the money.

Its all about the $$$$. We then looked into adopting from china and other countries through an international agency BUT the US GOVERNMENT makes this very VERY difficult and you better be willing to pony up 50K+ as well. Both international agency's we talked to said you pay the US government for the process and the foreign county. No matter what people say or claim you pay to both govt. some how and its very spendy.

Bottom line is there are lots of people who want to adopt the mass amounts of children in the system but high costs and massive red tape prevents this from happening and its really disgusting. We eventually gave up because the stress and costs just got to be too much.

sdmc530 · #3 01-14-2019, 05:07 PM

The US government is the biggest hurdle in the process because they let LSS and such places set all the rules in exchange for some "fees" paid to our IRS. Its a scam scam scam.

We did get close to adopting however:

On a very sad note, my step father in law had a coworker who had a 15 year old niece that got pregnant. So we did get hooked up with this family and were going to adopt this child as an open adoption. We were going to pay for all the doctor stuff, legal stuff and we committed to pay for some of the young girls college expenses if she choose to go to collage. We had it all in motion and really going to be a win for all but after 4 months in the young mother had a miscarriage. Very sad and traumatic, we were pretty down about it and the mother took is super hard. A short time later she tried to commit suicide over it. Fortunately she got the help she needed after that and were told she is doing ok now.

this was kind of the last straw for us on the adoption deal.

Sorry about the speech....we have strong opinions on this topic at our house.

FfNJGTFO · #4 01-14-2019, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdmc530

The US government is the biggest hurdle in the process because they let LSS and such places set all the rules in exchange for some "fees" paid to our IRS. Its a scam scam scam.

We did get close to adopting however:

On a very sad note, my step father in law had a coworker who had a 15 year old niece that got pregnant. So we did get hooked up with this family and were going to adopt this child as an open adoption. We were going to pay for all the doctor stuff, legal stuff and we committed to pay for some of the young girls college expenses if she choose to go to collage. We had it all in motion and really going to be a win for all but after 4 months in the young mother had a miscarriage. Very sad and traumatic, we were pretty down about it and the mother took is super hard. A short time later she tried to commit suicide over it. Fortunately she got the help she needed after that and were told she is doing ok now.

this was kind of the last straw for us on the adoption deal.

Sorry about the speech....we have strong opinions on this topic at our house.

Not at all... and the $$$$ thing is quite the reality check. I had forgotten about all the $$$$ paid as well as all the potential greed of the agencies, playing on the emotions of potential adoptive parents.

That isn't usually brought up in those YouTube adoption videos, and now I uderstand why. It should be a whole lot easier.

sdmc530 · #5 01-14-2019, 08:40 PM

The really sad part is all this bs and the poor kids are the ones who suffer. Breaks my heart

RKP · #6 01-14-2019, 09:54 PM

My BL/SL adopted 2 (brother/sister/USA) and boy, did they have to go through the hoops, and I mean "THE HOOPS" !! Have no idea what kind of $$$ was involved in the end, but, the main thing is everything is going very well and ALL are very happy.

RandallZ · #7 01-15-2019, 10:17 AM

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

RKP · #8 01-15-2019, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandallZ

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

^^ I do believe that's what my BL/SL did, I'm not sure if it was required? or it was by choice?

sdmc530 · #9 01-15-2019, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandallZ

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

yes, you certainly can but there are so many other caveats with this process too. Here in SD foster kids are usually pretty messed up and dangerous. A friend road trooper is a foster parent and he has some really scary stories.

RandallZ · #10 01-17-2019, 11:16 AM

I ask because I really know next to nothing about either adoption or fostering. I have two adopted cousins, and my former son-in-law was a foster/adoptee from a family who supported themselves entirely on foster payments.

My wife and I were blessed with our own kids, so we never had reason to look into it.

Randall

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