I've got an RIA in a 3.5" although it is the 45ACP... It is actually the gun that I carry most of the time however it is quite a little thumper, it's super accurate and I swear I can shoot it as good as my 5" 1911's but I agree with what was said above... For instance, my wife doesn't like shooting it because of it's recoil although in a 9mm it may be much different but one of my shooting buddies brings his girlfriend along and all she wants to shoot is my compact rock because she loves the way it feels... So to each his (or her) own... (Btw my wife's favorite gun to shoot is my midsize TCM 22... If they ever made it in a single stack compact she would carry that) my sister Inlaw is in love with my
19 and each of them have different taste in what "feels right"
I'm also a big fan of the smith shield although they are kind of hard to find where I live and if you do find them the retailers are gouging on the prices, they shoot great though if you can take her to some gun shops and let her hold a few different guns I bet she'll find something :-)
Let us know what you get!!