A father's lesson in tough love

[Thedragonslayer]

Originally Posted by Dave Waits

Maybe I grew up in a different time but, I've been where that man is now. A lot of you know that and , I have all the respect in the world for you but, the statements you made are one of the main reasons we're all starting to see such things. A fifteen year old girl does not command the respect of elders automatically, like any other child she has to earn it by first respecting others, especially her parents. She is not an equal, she is not a sister or brother to him, she is not a partner, she is his daughter. This means that for fifteen years he worried about her, loved her, supported her, fed her, wiped her nose and her rump, basically did everything he could for her.

How does this man get repaid for his devotion? She basically does a Character-assassination of him in a very public venue, tears him down and makes him look like a total Ass. Truthfully, I thought he acted with a lot of RESTRAINT. Had one of mine showed me such disrespect and ridicule, they would still have a hard time assuming a seated position and my youngest is almost 30! Further, if they didn't like it, I would gladly show them the door.

All that touchy-feely get in touch, try to compromise junk is just that. Junk! Oh, it will work fine...if you want a kid that walks all over you. You run that house, not them. They're not your partners, or your comtemporaries, they don't know enough to be. They're there by your good graces and should be thankful they're being cared for. Instead, what you see is a shallow, arrogant, petulent child who thinks she has the right to talk like an adult. Problem is, she's at the point where she'll carry that same attitude into adulthood.

Were I he, the remedy for this is simple, provide her shelter, food,medical care and basic clothing until she reaches 18, then give her the big 10D right in the rump and hope she bounces when she hits the concrete.

I guess you all can tell I'm pretty-much at the end of my patience with snotty-nosed disrespectful brats.

Dave I think you misread 's approach on this. She wasn't saying that a feel good party was in order. But as a "mom" herself she clearly sees the long term ramifications of the dad's actions.

But I'm going to take this one step further... (( I'd like to tan her (not but the child that is his daughter) hide too.))

But we have all heard the addidge " the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." And this is the perfect example. I couldn't help to think, where did she learn her behavior from. And its clear to me it was from him. He made the cardinal error of "stooping to her level," (another addidge we should all remember as well.)

It is assured she is grossly at fault here and ought to have her tail whipped. But my issue is that this exposes a fact in all of our lives that God has given each of us a hypocrite detector in our lives and its our children. Now its true that our society is also affecting the boldness of the youth to act more and more boldly against those things in our lives that should be sources of comfort and assurance. And that is for another "lecture."

The foundation of the way we act comes directly from the actions we learn from our parents at a very early age. "The apple surely doesn't fall far from the tree."

Instead of doing what is right, those things most of ya'll mentioned, he has doomed the relationship and she will never respect him unless he shows her an example of character and not a mirror of how she wants to act.

If you watch the video and listen to him and not dwell on what she wrote (which is childish, disrespectful and slanderous) you will see what she wrote is exactly the way he is too. Children see the things we do and typically (not ALL) but typically take our faults and exacerbate them to even a higher level in some cases. A drunk is likely to raise a drunk, a reality that you don't see til its to late.

So as said in the wisdom of a mother, the miserable mess just keeps spinning without any true resolution. I will bet a lot of money, (which I dont have without a job) that unless the dad grows up a little and realizes that his daughter has become exactly what he is, that this will never end and this family like so many today will continue to be screwed.

Ok Dr. will shut-up now, but I challenge anyone to refute what I just said. Been there, lived it, done it, and by the grace of God looked my son in the eye and admitted it and watched it change his life completely as he became an adult right before my eyes.

Well anyway... Im sure Im going to now get my head handed to me. Sorry, but I couldnt help to reflect on what life has taught me about going from age 12 to age 35 in one day.

[oldrifleman]

Originally Posted by Dave Waits

Maybe I grew up in a different time but, I've been where that man is now. A lot of you know that and , I have all the respect in the world for you but, the statements you made are one of the main reasons we're all starting to see such things. A fifteen year old girl does not command the respect of elders automatically, like any other child she has to earn it by first respecting others, especially her parents. She is not an equal, she is not a sister or brother to him, she is not a partner, she is his daughter. This means that for fifteen years he worried about her, loved her, supported her, fed her, wiped her nose and her rump, basically did everything he could for her.

How does this man get repaid for his devotion? She basically does a Character-assassination of him in a very public venue, tears him down and makes him look like a total Ass. Truthfully, I thought he acted with a lot of RESTRAINT. Had one of mine showed me such disrespect and ridicule, they would still have a hard time assuming a seated position and my youngest is almost 30! Further, if they didn't like it, I would gladly show them the door.

All that touchy-feely get in touch, try to compromise junk is just that. Junk! Oh, it will work fine...if you want a kid that walks all over you. You run that house, not them. They're not your partners, or your comtemporaries, they don't know enough to be. They're there by your good graces and should be thankful they're being cared for. Instead, what you see is a shallow, arrogant, petulent child who thinks she has the right to talk like an adult. Problem is, she's at the point where she'll carry that same attitude into adulthood.

Were I he, the remedy for this is simple, provide her shelter, food,medical care and basic clothing until she reaches 18, then give her the big 10D right in the rump and hope she bounces when she hits the concrete.

I guess you all can tell I'm pretty-much at the end of my patience with snotty-nosed disrespectful brats.

Maybe I came off as a tree hugger, but I am not. I demand respect from my kids and am not one of the spare the rod guys ( ask my wife who disagrees with me). But he has not solved anything by shooting the laptop and posting what he did. There needs to be consequences for sure, her social life just became non-existent for quite a while (months). Her chore level just went up! All these things will force her to accept authority.
Nw I expect also she will be on her own after graduation, either her choice or his, not sure which will come first. But what is going on is just counter productive.
Of course I think you will still consider me too liberal, but we just have different levels of tolerance. n

[SemperFi1977m]

Im with Dave on this 110%. If I publicly ridiculed my dad, I would have rightfully gotten my butt kicked. I was their child, not their equal.

[Sheepdog]

I think I too need to clarify a few things. First of all i think this was all made for you tube production. I do not want to be misunderstood. I was not supporting the daughter in any way. My point was that you don't wait until they are fifteen and decide you are going to start raising your children. The shooting the laptop was just stupid. IMHO he should have used that belt for something other than holding his pistol, along time ago.