I am scared!!

[DaFadda]

, I've been through this with my mom and dad, who eventually moved to Las Vegas a good thirty years ago. You and your wife need to have a united front and set ground rules early. The most important one that we had to put in place was:

"Do not come over unless you have been invited, or have called to ensure that we are available and want company."

Now, how to enforce it? True story. We were newly married and my mom and dad started to just "drop by" after church on Sunday. I asked that they call first, but in the world before cell phones... it was inconvenient. Since we were young, and Sunday was the only day that we had off together... we were doing "what comes naturally" when the doorbell rang. I threw on a pair of jeans and answered the front door with these words:

Do You ever want grandkids? No, you can't visit. Please call next time."

And I closed the door. Got an apology the next day and they always called before they visited!

Hopefully, your MIL is a bit more genteel than my mom was and she'll take the hint and call first. And you know... now that I think about it, from the day I moved out of my parents home, I never "just stopped by." It's a respect thing. Well, I did once, which I'll tell about later in this thread. Promise. It was as anything I've ever done.